Wednesday, 3 December 2014

untitled #65...

L's outfit to last weeks Polytechnic West's Fashion grad parade, there are no words to describe it, so you'll just have to wait for our full photo logged post coming soon!  photo umbraoutfit-1_zps39d6da58.jpg  photo umbraoutfit-2_zps304181b1.jpg

wearing 
-black knee high socks- -vintage grey dress- -zara bag- -jeffery cambell t-bars- 

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Tuesday, 18 November 2014

depression...

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Depression creeps, depression spreads... entwining itself through the tendrils of your mind.

A lot of people don’t understand depression or anxiety and for such a prominent disease; 1 in 3 people suffer from anxiety in their lifetime and 1 in 4 suffer from depression, its shocking its not talked about enough. Its almost still a taboo. So we’ll just jump right in.

L has been suffering from PTSD and Major Depression for nearly 8 years now. Some of our readers may know this, others may have no idea. But L thought it was time to come out and share her story.

The precipitating factor in L’s emotional issues began in February 2008, when her ex-boyfriend attacked, and ran her over with his car. L was lucky, coming out of it with a broken pelvis and some broken ribs and toes. It could have been much worse. She doesn’t remember the accident, she only remembers waking up in an alien machine in hospital. From the moment she awoke, L was in denial. When she was told she was hit by a car, L adamantly denied it, it wasn’t until she tried to move that reality sunk in.

Denial was her saviour, her go to defence mechanism. For the longest time she didn’t believe it. Despite the recovery and pain, she was in a haze, it felt like a dream.

Toxic relationships only fuelled her depression and anxiety. living with someone 24/7 and not working fuled feelings of worthlessness and loss of self esteem. She stopped seeing friends, she stopped going out. The TV and computer were her new best friends.

She spent night after night not sleeping, smoking endless cigarettes and blocking all the house doors with wardrobes. She spent manic episodes rearranging her house at 4am. She spent hours in the bath crying and even more asleep. Sleep, the only place she could forget, escape.

When she did go out, to events/the fashion festival etc, she created a brilliant mask. One no one could see though, one no one ever knew she was wearing. But it grew thin. Her energy, her motivation, her want, all dying.

Her breakdowns were nightmares, things she could never forget. L would cry and scream and smash her head into walls, her frustration simmered and boiled. Her brain wouldn’t work. it was mush.

After a particularly bad breakdown L’s mother took her to the doctors and the anti depressants and anti anxiety medication was started, endless cocktails were tired, alas to no avail. L started seeing a Phycologist and a Psychiatrist, she started programs and more cocktails were tried. For the longest time it seemed hopeless.

A couple of months ago L changed her Psychiatrist and it's like something clicked. Things are looking brighter, everything with a tinge of promise.

She started a CBT program and will be done on friday, this program has taught L so much, has helped her see things clearer.

Still she has a long way to go, and she won’t delude herself into thinking that things will change overnight, she will accept if she slips back, but for now its only steps forward...

Sunday, 31 August 2014

bust it out...

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thought L would bust out her leathers before winter was finally over, not that she's not looking forward to summer, on that fact she is over the moon!
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we've been a bit quiet on the personal front lately but L has teamed up a post explaining things, I'm sure long term readers would be aware of her struggles with depression and tomorrow L begins one of the most important steps in her recovery. wish her luck!

Saturday, 30 August 2014

as usual, a mixed message...

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taking theo to the dog park the other day, L thought it the perfect time to try out her new thigh bag. made with leather and adjustable waist and thigh straps L is more then happy with her sample.

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Tuesday, 29 July 2014

cash...

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all in the golden afternoon,
      full leisurely we glide,
for both our oars, with better skill,
     by little arms are piled,
while little hand make vain pretence
     our wandering s to guide.

patterns...

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just the usual adventures down beaufort st at night...

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

daydream...

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afternoon walks with my beloved. L found this gem of a dress in a small op-shop and since then she has realised it's the perfect winter dress.

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Tuesday, 10 June 2014

sock weather...

those who follow L on instagram and/or Facebook would know that recently L finally got her hair back. A feat she has trying to accomplish since she said goodbye to her golden blondes and pastel colours.  a full magnificent hair post will soon follow but for now L had this quick outfit from one of last weeks outings, she thought she would share.

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Friday, 9 May 2014

black...

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the day of the boulevard markets was still hot and bright. the sun stung and sunglasses were a necessity.

having not worn her eccentric one teaspoon cape, top thing since PFF a few years back, L decided to take it out for a spin. its light folds of breezy, almost sheer fabric was a welcome release as the wind carried small bursts of air through it, to cool her.
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wearing 
- Prada sunglasses - One Teaspoon Top - Dolce & Gabbana Athletic Shorts - Acne Boots - Bag made and designed by L -